Friday, April 21, 2006

A Wasted Life

Thursday AM the sister in law called with the new that the brother was dead. This bitches younger brother at 51 finally either did it, got his wish or whatever and has usual left a trail of tears and devastation behind. Seems he did in death what he has done in life....ALL HIS LIFE.

He was depressed, stressed, emotionally disabled and generally fucked up. He was blessed to have a wife who loved him but he dragged her down too...eventually she was on the head meds.....

Head meds are a good thing..a bitch knows this...but that shit as a way of life??????

But hey that was a bitches brother......

He became fucked up because he chose to be fucked up. We had the all-american-stepfather-abused-neglected-shit...just like millions of other fucked up households in the world....

Only this bitch being a little bitch too at the ripe old age of seven...yes seven motherfucking years old just said in her little heart:

FUCK THIS SHIT....

Somehow by the grace of God, a bitch made it through after making sone fucked up decisions herself......decisions that the brother did not agree with or like. You see he thought he could fix shit.

He actually had the nerve to try to have a realtionship with the motherfucker that beat my mother black and blue on numerous occasions. Brother actually cried when the wife beating bastard died. SHIT..this bitch was relieved.....but then had to get over the guilt she felt for being glad the fucker was dead and hoping that he was burning bright and hot in hell.....

EVERYFUCKING DAY we dreaded them coming home from work.....it would start..the drinking all the arguing about us...money...all the bullshit....shit we thought that shit was normal....

Back to the supposed trying to fix shit here.....yeah this bitch said "adios motherfuckers....." he tried to fix shit that could not be fixed. Even to the day he dies he was trying to fix shit but he finally gave up on my ass.....

He took my first car and wrecked it. He took my violin and pawned it for drug money...

the last time I talked to him last year he was looking at dying because he had lung tumours and all manner of other shit.....diabetes...obese (big as two motherfuckers)...he wanted to talk when he thought his ass was going to die.

When he got home and through it all he made it perfectly clear that he did not need to talk to me many more.....fuck you asshole...No tears for you...

2 comments:

It's Me, Maven... said...

Perhaps in his death you'll be able to permanently bury all the anger and tears of the past.

Sending much love to you. Sorry I read this nearly a month after the fact.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for all you've been through ... and hoping you're on the other side of this. Heavy post.

C-Money